As Seen in Your Child in the Hills February 2012
Seasons
Growing Together Through the Seasons
By Alison Valenti
There is always something beautiful with each season that comes and goes. Whether it’s admiring the beautiful flowers that blossom in spring or feeling the sand between your toes and cool water around your feet as you walk along the beach on a summer’s night. Maybe it’s watching the leaves turn so many shades of orange and hearing them crunch in the autumn months. Even the winter is beautiful as you snuggle under the blankets early in the evening drinking a hot drink before bed. Did you know that our relationship with our partner also goes through the seasons? And just like nature, there is something beautiful to look forward to in each season.
What season are you in? Have you just entered a new season? Do you need to move to the next season?
Knowing and understanding what happens in each season will allow you to grow and maintain a loving and completely fulfilling relationship for years and years. When two people commit to each other they are saying, ‘I want to spend my life with you and I want to see us grow old together.’ But how do you keep that spark, that enjoyment? Only a select few can have that, right? The answer is ‘no’. If you have the foundations of a great relationship you can also be one of those lucky ones to have that everlasting love. The key is knowledge; knowing where you are together and where you are heading. Knowing how to create the next level of your relationship and move to the next season is vital. In nature everything is either growing or dying. It is the same with relationships. It should never be stagnate.
Spring has Sprung - 3 to 12 months
Spring is the time of new life. The flowers are blooming, birds are tweeting, you start getting the first hints of the warmer weather. Spring, in a relationship is a time of incredible passion. It is the time of dating. It can last anywhere between three and twelve months. Spring is the starting point in a new relationship. You begin to find out if you have enough in common with your new partner. You begin new interests and activities together. You have fun, laughter and enjoyment. You may begin to feel comfortable enough to introduce your new partner to friends and family. Spring is really about new love and the excitement that it brings.
Sun, Surf & Fun = Summer Time - 6 to 18 months
Inevitably spring turns into summer. Summer, in a relationship, can last for about six to eighteen months. It’s a time where you as a couple will start getting into some routines. It’s also a time to sort out the purpose of the relationship. Women are actually testing and saying, ‘Can this man create the certainty I need? Can this man provide the safety I need?’ The man is saying, ‘Well, we are getting into some routines now, but is there still excitement and is she loyal?’ A key component for men is loyalty in the relationship. It’s possible the relationship might become shakey in the summer months for a number of reasons. Firstly, family and friends may reject your partner and you begin to question the fit yourself. Or a couple may stay in the years of summer and never move to the next level and if this happens, eventually it will end. The purpose is to move to the next level, to grow.
The Amazing Colours of Autumn - 18 months to 3 years
Then comes autumn; a time for change. Couples need to give birth, grow and nurture something outside of themselves. This is the real purpose of the relationship. Contributing towards something together brings you closer and results in a deeper connection. We all have the need to contribute, and as a couple you need to give your focus to something or someone. This may be parenting of children, caring for a pet, setting up a home or a business together.
Crackling Fires, Snowflakes and Hot Chocolate…. Winter is here – 3 to 7 Years
Winter begins, and this, for the couple, is a time of completion and reflection. The next chapter is really beginning to unfold. The children may have grown up and are shaping their own lives. They are now no longer as dependant on mum and dad as they were. It may be a difficult thing, for mothers especially, to accept and adjust to. As a couple you may be feeling you are losing your identity as parents. So this is the time for the two of you to dream. You need to dream together and plan what your life will look like. What’s next for you? What’s going to be your next adventure? Maybe you want to travel together, plan some renovations to your home, perhaps learning to salsa together or a new language?
The whole cycle of the seasons lasts for about seven years. The ‘seven-year-itch’ has been proven to be true. Successful couples will continue through the cycle again at a new level. Spring will create a new energy, renewed passion and a new love of each other.
So where are you now? Are you in winter and not sure how to get to spring again? Maybe the answer is in your dreams!
